Very seldom do I cry. That’s kind of an odd sentence to start a review with, and with the risk of losing my manhood (some people who know me personally may be rolling their eyes right about now), it’s a risk that I’m willing to take. Super Mario Galaxy has touched me. It has touched me like no other novel, movie, or game, for that matter, has touched me before. It has touched me more deeply than when Michael Jackson touched me in my bed while I was singing Beat it. I really want the readers at home to understand just how much Mario Galaxy has touched me. To make my point as visual as possible (as if the Michael Jackson reference wasn’t visual and enough), the game made me blubber like a Sunday school boy after dropping a cone of ice cream outside Church and then being told that littering is a sin.

Super Mario Galaxy made me cry for two important reasons: 1) It’s a game that balances old with new with such confidence that in one moment, the child inside you manifests itself while playing the game, and in the next moment, when your parents force you to turn the Wii off, you come to the sad realization that you are a nineteen year old male who still can’t grow a thick and luscious mustache like Mario because you haven’t fully completed puberty yet. And 2), the musical score is so beautifully composed with a small hint of nostalgia that it brings back painful and repressed memories of your parents forcing you to turn off the Super Nintendo to go to Church where you consequently spilled your ice cream and were then scared of burning in Hell because that stupid older kid who always sits in the back thought that that he could exploit the naivety of your childhood, but it doesn’t even matter anymore, because he now has Aids.

Story-9.0

The story is your standard Mario fare. It begins in the Mushroom Kingdom as Mario whimsically prances around the castle and heads toward the main gate after receiving a cordial invitation from none other than Princess Peach. As the celebration gets warmed up by fireworks (that are reflected by the water in stunning detail might I add), the celebration is abruptly interrupted by a plethora of flying ships commanded by the treacherous Bowser and his son, Bowser jr., who are both intent on stealing the Princess. Mario heroically gallops toward the castle as Peach waits atop the balcony of her castle as she helplessly cries for help.

For the two or three people who haven’t been keeping up with Super Mario Galaxy, or for the English-speaking individual who doesn’t know what the word Galaxy means, you’re in for a real treat in the form of a plot-twist. If you’re one of the few mentioned above, don’t read ahead unless you want to me spoil an essential part of the game’s story…

Mario ventures into space for the first time! Yep, that’s a plot twist that’s almost as surprising as the time we all found out that Mel Gibson was an anti-semite (i.e. we weren’t that surprised at all, we just needed the booze to officially prove it).

For those of you who play games for their deep and enthralling story lines, Super Mario Galaxy will not disappoint. Aside from the main plot (man saves princess), there is an additional “story time” segment in the game that very dramatically tells the story of how the Lumas and Rosalina (a Princess Peach lookalike) got to where they are in space. And what a drowsy and boring story time it is. Don’t get me wrong, Final Fantasy fans will no doubt be enthusiastic about story time. Thankfully, for the rest of us, story time is optional, which is great, because had it been forced, it would have ruined Super Mario Galaxy’s otherwise flawless presentation.

Everyone knows that Mario games have never been about the story, but rather, about the fun and engaging gameplay. Super Mario Galaxy does not disappoint in this department, in fact, it exceeds every expectation.

Controls-10

The adventure kicks off after Mario lands on a tiny spherical planet in space, and the player takes full control of him. You’ll immediately notice when beginning to play the ease at which Mario can be maneuvered. The controls are on point and very responsive. Moving Mario is as easy as pointing the nunchuk’s analog stick in the direction you want Mario to move, while jumping is as easy as pressing the A button on the wiimote. Mario’s special somersaults and long jumps can easily be performed by using a combination of the analog stick and Z button on the nunchuk and the A button on the wiimote.

This all sounds self-explanatory and that’s because it pretty much is. There are also some unique elements that Nintendo added to the game in order to take full advantage of Nintendo Wii’s motion sensing technology. For example, to jump from star to star, the player only needs to gently shake the wiimote when Mario is near a star so that he flies from one planet to another. When Mario is not near a star, shaking the wiimote will initiate his new spin move which is useful for stunning enemies, breaking glass, turning switches, among other special moves. Additionally, the wiimote’s pointer allows the player to control a star on-screen known as the star pointer that is used to collect star bits. These star bits can be fed to hungry Lumas that populate the Galaxy. The star bits can also be used to shoot and stun enemies by pointing the star pointer at them and pressing the B button on the wiimote.

Gameplay-10

Take Mario 64’s superb gameplay, change the setting to space, add innovative and groundbreaking controls, and you have the essence of Super Mario Galaxy’s gameplay. Because the game is set in space, Nintendo has created an ingenious physics system featuring every planet having its very own gravitational pull that effectively affects Mario’s position on each planet. Thus, Mario can walk on surfaces sideways, backwards, forwards, upside down, etc. The game is primarily three dimensional, but there are moments where Mario is confined to a two dimensional space that oftentimes adds interesting dynamics to the gameplay.

You would think that walking sideways and backwards would be a chore, but thankfully, the physics never get in the way of the gameplay thanks in large part to the groundbreaking camera system. About eighty percent of the time, the camera will be fixed on the best possible position so that Mario is always visible and the player can control him without having to worry about positioning the camera his or herself. The other twenty percent of the time, the player has the option of controlling the camera by using the C button on the nunchuk, but its use is seldom necessary.

Going back to Mario’s original roots, he can now collect power ups that allow him to proceed further into his mission. Some of the power ups are classics, like the fire flower that changes the color of Mario’s suit to white and gives him the ability to shoot fireballs from his fists. There are also some new and welcome additions to Mario’s arsenal like the ghost and spring power ups. The ghost power up, like the names implies, transforms Mario into a Ghost, allowing him to float and go through walls. The spring power up allows Mario to jump higher so that he can reach the hard to reach platforms in the game. In all, there are eight power ups that each add to the game’s charm and fun factor.

The game’s objective, like in Mario 64, is to collect power stars in order to power the Comet Observatory and use it as a ship to reach Princess Peach and rescue her. The Comet Observatory serves as the game’s main hub from where Mario can access the different galaxies, typically through what are known as domes. These domes grant access to the different worlds in which Mario can explore and collect more Power Stars. Other means of collecting Power Stars include feeding the previously mentioned Hungry Lumas that will, in turn, turn into their own planets that house a fun and exciting mini-game/mission.

Graphics-9.5

Super Mario Galaxy proves that the Nintendo Wii’s hardware shortcomings don’t necessarily mean that it can’t have beautifully crafted games. Super Mario Galaxy, although by no means a technical showcase (to the degree of Gears of War, Crysis, Uncharted, etc. on more powerful sister platforms), still boasts a unique and visually stimulating world thanks in large part to its art direction and style. The gorgeous and grandiose spatial backdrops, shimmering stars, and foreboding black holes render an atmosphere that is unlike anything we’ve ever seen.

What makes Super Mario Galaxy such an impressive sight to behold is the sheer volume of things to see. One of my major complaints with Super Mario Sunshine was the lack of variation in the environments as each world seldom strayed away from the tropical beach setting. In Super Mario Galaxy, each galaxy exudes its own personality and its own style. Some galaxies are filled with devastatingly hot lava, while others are filled with chillingly cold ice. It doesn’t just stop there. There are deserts, beaches, planets on skies, underwater levels, and much more. The variation in the environments is astounding and brings back the much needed flavor of Mario 64 and all of its predecessors that Super Mario Sunshine lacked.

The variations in enemies are unfortunately uninspired and uninteresting. Most of the enemies in the game are either goombas or some variation thereof and pose no challenge. The bosses are typically some animal or plant that takes about three hits to the weak spot to kill. The animations are quite solid, but nothing spectacular. Mario runs and jumps as we have come to expect and love, the enemies move fluidly, albeit a bit too simply. I was hoping that with the dramatic shift in the environment, Nintendo could have come up with some more interesting space enemies. Still, I am nitpicking here because the enemies are not the main obstacle that Mario is faced with, but rather, the platforms are, and considering that the platforms are part of what make the environment great, the experience is not negatively affected too much by the tried and true enemies.

Sound-10

The sound effects in the game are simple but very appropriate. Every “Hoo” and “Ha” that Mario chants after every jump is pleasing to the ear as is every “pop” or “boop” after jumping on top of enemies’ heads. But the sound effects by themselves don’t contribute too heavily to my score of 10. The reason the sound is so unbelievable is because in Super Mario Galaxy, Nintendo finally embraced live orchestrated music, and with stunning results. The truth of the matter is, had Nintendo even used the MiDi format (which is the old-fashioned, digitized format), the scores written for Super Mario Galaxy are so fantastic that I still would have given the sound a 9.9 with my only complaint being that the music wasn’t orchestrated.

I’d like the music to do the talking for me, so here’s a clip of Nintendo’s orchestra playing one of my all time favorite songs ever written from the Gusty Garden Galaxy in the game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqBfsdGrn8s

If God does exist, then the man at 00:40 in the video (Shigeru Miyamoto) must channel His power because no other force on this planet can create something as blissful as this.

Lasting Appeal-10

With so much to see and hear, and with 121 stars to collect, Super Mario Galaxy should bring you more pleasure than any tantalizing steak, any ripe and juicy fruit, any sweet and creamy cake, any man or woman (depending on your sexual affiliation) can offer. Quite frankly, when I wasn’t wiping my eyes with tissues while playing this game, I was jumping with excitement (and with Mario), awing at every spectacle, gasping for air after every close call, humming after every tune, and cleaning my floor after every orgasm. Yes, you read that right. No need to go back.

Final deliberation- 10

Super Mario Galaxy is by far one of the greatest games to ever grace mankind. After all, if a game can fill your tissue up with more than just tears without the presence of scantily clad women, then you know you have a gem of a game that goes beyond the classification of classic and masterpiece. If Shigeru Miyamoto is a God, then Super Mario Galaxy, by extension, is my savior.